Fat People Should Shut Up
Fat people are always bitching about how their
fat and nobody likes them. For those of you reading this who are fat,
you're right! You're fat and ugly, so stop bitching about it. In the words of Ryan Stanbury, "Put a cock in it." The truth is,
nobody cares that you're fat or ugly. Stop whining and pull out the treadmill.
Obesity is just your way of saying "I'm a pompous little bitch who would rather
sit around and bitch than fix my problems."
If I were fat and too lazy to work
it off, I would at least give everyone the courtesy of being normal. Fat people are often like the combo you find at fast food restaurants that has all the foods you hate; not only are they fat, which to be honest isn't bad, but many of them are some of the most annoying people I know. Everyone else has their own problems, but do you hear us bitching about them? NO.
There are some fat people I don't hate, however. I have several friends who tow quite a bit of extra weight and just don't really seem to care. There are examples of this in the world of show business, too. Chris Farley, R.I.P., is one...great guy. Rosie O'Donnel deserves to die, so she will not be included.
So, there are generally four groups of fat people.
Group 1:
These people make our world a little more annoying by not only bothering us with their presence but letting us all know how fat and ugly they are, as if we couldn't see. They then expect sympathy from us. Talk to someone else, or better yet, just shut up and help everyone out.
Group 2:
This is a rare category. These fat people try to hide themselves (failing miserably), because they are afraid that we will hate them, which is probably true if you're weird enough to follow a train of thought like this.
Group 3:
This is probably one of the hardest types of fat people to come in contact with -- The "happily overweight" person. These are few and far between, but typically they are extremely entertaining and better yet they've gotten the hint and realized nobody gives a fuck!
Group 4:
There are way too many people in this group, and I would have to say this is by far the worst one. These fat people are the ones who evidently don't know it or think they can hide it by showing it. They dress "sexy"...hardly...and scare the shit out of the rest of us. Maybeit is something to the effect of "inverse anorexia," meaning that they don't see themselves as fat. In any case, these people, usually the girls, dress inexplicably in horrifyingly exposing clothing. Showing us your fat will not make you skinnier. As well put by "Maddox" (http://maddox.xmission.com), TUBE TOPS DO NOT COME IN EXTRA LARGE.